


you take the things you love, and you tear them apart

by funsizedshaw



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Ficlet Collection, More tags to come!, Whumptober 2020, content warnings in chapter summaries, wibbly wobbly narrative structure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26786035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funsizedshaw/pseuds/funsizedshaw
Summary: Whumptober time!!My first attempt at a challenge so some of these will be pretty short and some might be longer- we're just going with the flow here.Check chapter summaries for prompts + content warnings!
Relationships: Jack Harkness & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	1. drowning in gravity

**Author's Note:**

> fic title from richard siken the king of angst and whump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 prompt: Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging
> 
> Characters: Yaz, Jack Harkness, The Doctor (mentioned)

Burning.

Her arms are on fire.

No, not fire. They just really _really_ hurt.

Her feet skim the ground, scrambling for purchase. She’s tied too high up, and her toes just barely touch the floor beneath. It’s a miracle her arms haven’t popped out of their sockets yet, the way they’ve been holding up her entire body weight. Her wrists burn, too, the rope digging into bone. At least, she thinks it’s rope. She can’t see, what with the cloth over her eyes.

“So, how’s it hanging?”

The familiar cheery American accent simultaneously infuriates and relieves her, and she rolls her eyes in reflex before realising he can’t see it.

“I see you’re as unoriginal as you are annoying. Good to know.”

“You wound me, Yasmin Khan.”

“Jack.”

“Yes?”

“Stop playing around. You said you had a plan hours ago.”

At least she thinks it were hours. Keeping track of time was never her strong suit, and travelling back and forth and around all of time and space had only made that worse.

“I do! Half a plan. Still working on the other third.”

“That’s not how fractions work.”

“Maybe that’s how they work in my time.”

She rolls her eyes again. Her head throbs with the effort. Keeping up with Jack Harkness and his boisterous attitude is a torture in and of itself.

_You don’t mean that._

And the voice was back.

_You don’t know what I mean._

Why is she entertaining the voice again?

_Course I know what you mean, Yaz. I’m in your head._

And why does the voice sound like _her_ again? God, she really must be going mad.

_You’re not going mad. It’s just a coping mechanism you’ve developed to cope with the grief of losing me._

_Didn’t know you were a doctor of psychology too._

_I’m a doctor of a lot of things! But mostly hope. And love. I need you to hold on to that, Yaz. Jack will get you both out of there. And then you’re going to come and get me._

_We don’t even know where you are. And you can’t tell me because you’re not actually you, just a stupid voice I made up in my head because I can’t deal with-_

“Yasmin.”

She jerks in surprise, yelping when the sudden movement jars her raw wrists.

“What.”

“Who are you talking to?”

“What? Nothi- No on- how much did you hear?”

“Not much. You were mumbling under your breath. Something about a stupid voice.”

“It’s nothing. How’s the plan goin?”

“Almost there. Are you hearing things in your head?”

“No.”

“Honey, it‘s been weeks. You don’t have to talk to me of course, but if we’re gonna be working together to find the Doctor then you have to trust me eventually.”

She doesn’t respond. Something in her shoulder blades is sending sparks of pain shooting through her back. She grits her teeth, willing it to stop.

The sound of their combined breaths echo through the room for a long moment. Guilt pinpricks uncomfortably at the back of her neck. Or maybe that’s her muscles straining.

“I wasn’t always like this, y’know. This...rude. And abrasive.”

It’s the closest to an apology he’s going to get from her. For now.

“You’ve been through a lot. It’s okay.”

“It isn’t. But thank you.”

He hums, accepting the olive branch. It’s more than she deserves.

“Wanna hear my plan?” She can hear the grin in his voice. “It involves me dying.”


	2. just another tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 prompt: ~~“Pick Who Dies”~~ | Collars | Kidnapped
> 
> Characters: Yaz, Ryan, Graham 
> 
> CWs: shock collars, psychological whump, canon typical-ish violence

Yaz looks into the mirror, frowning at her uniform. Something doesn’t seem quite right about it, but she can’t figure out what. She worries her lip between her teeth, going over her mental checklist again.

Earrings. Off. Kept safe in their box.

Shirt. Ironed. Crisp. No stains.

Skirt.

Skirt? Why is she wearing a skirt? And why is it so short? How is she supposed to patrol like this?

Socks? Why are they knee high?

Why is her hair so straight? She hasn’t done that in years.

“Yaz? Hurry up love, you’re going to be late.”

She jumps at the sudden voice. Who is that?

“Yaz?”

Mum? Mum _._ That’s her mother. How did she forget her _mother_.

“Yea, coming Mum!”

That sounded normal. Good. Probably. Is normal what she’s going for? It has to be.

She walks out of her room to the kitchen, smoothing her skirt down. When did they change police uniforms?

“There you are. Hurry up, Dad’s taking you to school today, you can eat your breakfast in the car.”

_School?_

She looks down at herself, and it clicks. She’s wearing her school uniform. From 5 years ago.

She’s wearing her school uniform from 5 years ago.

Her heart pounds.

Stomach churns.

“I- Mum, I can’t go to school.”

“What? Why? Yaz I don’t have time for this today. I’m starting a new job, remember?”

She’s not 15 anymore. She’s 20. She’s 20 and she’s a police officer and she’s not 15 again. She _can’t_ be.

“No, Mum, I-”

“Yasmin Khan. Stop this. I’m not letting you skip school just because you feel like it.”

Her throat is dry. Tears prick the corner of her eyes.

“Mum, please.”

She can’t find the words to explain. Why can’t she find the right words?

“Ma-”

Pain flashes through her and she crumples to the ground. Her bones vibrate, rattling inside her. Every inch of her skin is on fire. Something is squeezing her neck, choking, and she grabs at it without knowing what it is.

She writhes. Somewhere in the depths of her mind she summons the energy to pray for oblivion.

As sudden as the agony had started, it stops.

Yaz opens her eyes to the sound of slow clapping. The pain feels like a distant memory, but the fear remains.

Still, she forces herself to make eye contact with him. He won’t break her.

“Bravo! That was amazing! Great work, Yasmin Khan. I love how creative human brains can be. Don’t you?”

He waves a hand and she feels the collar around her neck pulse once, twice, and her muscles lock. She’s frozen to the spot, only able to turn her head.

He turns away from her, as if bored with her suffering. “Now, who should go next? The old man? Or you, clumsy boy? Which would be more fun, I wonder.”

“I’ll go.”

“No, son, d-”

“Oh do shut up old man.” Another wave of a hand and Graham falls silent. “Ryan Sinclair. Stoic, self sacrificing Sinclair. I love a good alliteration. Goodie, this will be just delightful! I can’t wait to see what your cute little brain comes up with!”

Yaz looks at Graham, trying to offer silent reassurance. She knows without a doubt the collar around his neck has paralysed his vocal chords too. Just like it did hers. Their captor wants quiet from the rest of them when he is torturing one.

No distractions from the entertainment.

The quiet resignation in Ryan’s eyes sends a chill down her spine. She hopes against hope that it isn’t reflected in her eyes. Someone needs to continue to have faith. Faith in the blue box and its occupant.

As Ryan’s screams fill the room, Yaz strains to keep an ear out for the telltale whoosh heralding their saviour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was gonna be longer and have ryan's and graham's perspectives too but shit happened hahaha
> 
> gonna _try_ to stop torturing yaz so much and include the rest too for the next ones <3

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @softyasmin <3


End file.
